No doubt becoming a parent is one of the most joyful gifts in life, it is special and enlightening and provides a feeling to us that compares to nothing else we experience as humans and adults. However parenthood also comes with it’s own challenges and hurdles that we must all face as we become a parent.
These challenges are always changing and adapting and we are constantly learning as our children age along with us, and as we develop as a family. But one of the biggest things that we face as a parent is losing our individual identity, we can no longer be selfish and we can no longer blindly chase our own goals and our own careers as we now have a little human that is entirely dependant on us. Some of us have partners in this and some of us super brave humans go it alone and raise children solo due to what ever circumstances.
One of the most important sayings in parenthood I believe is, “it takes a village to raise a child”. Why? Because I truly believe we cannot do it alone, and we shouldn’t try to do it alone. Many people around us are willing to help out, they know the struggle and they want to assist you in raising this miracle that is your child and for our sanity we should allow this to happen and not feel bad about it.
To raise this child we must be in healthy state of mind to do our absolute best in bringing this child through life, which is why I believe it is ok to still some what be selfish when we become a parent, within the acceptable limits. We cannot allow our self to completely lose your identity to parenthood and the reason I say this is if we completely allow our self to do this we cannot raise this child in a healthy state of mind, our children reflect who we are as a parent and person so much and if we are not in a healthy state of mind we are passing that onto our children more than we think.
It is important for us to chase our own identity and our own story and path through life and seek assistance in doing this. It is important for us to be in a healthy state of mind and in a healthy physical state so that we can perform at our best as a parent. One of the most effective ways for us to be in this state is utilising exercise as a tool to better our selves both physically and mentally, so do yourself a favour and your family a favour and allow yourself and your partner if you have one to be a little bit selfish time to time to spend on health both physically and mentally so that you can be the best version of yourself.
View exercise and health as highly as we view making money to support our family and you will go along way, make time and take steps to better your health so you can have the energy and positive mindset required to raise another human. Most of us understand the importance of dopamine and serotonin (and if we don’t we should start reading about it) and how these chemicals and reactions play with our state of mind, we should also understand how exercise helps improve the production of these chemicals and how our brain craves these activities that help us produce these chemical reactions (even though consciously and in mentally instable times we hate exercise) as well as the importance of having these feelings run through our brain and body so that we can be a happier healthier parent.
So to think your being selfish in creating the time in your day to help improve your mindset, mental health and physical health in my mind is ludicrous. In in fact it is selfish to not want to be the best version of yourself so that you can become a better parent, reduce anxiety and so that you can have more energy and improve the chances of being around longer for your family. Not to mention becoming a better role model for your young ones, instilling good healthy habits from diet right down to exercise and give your children every fighting chance to be a happier healthier being.
The science is there in writing, we all know what it is that we need to do but unfortunately far too often we are allowing ourselves to fall into this trap of bad eating habits, working longer and longer hours for the company and using the excuse of “providing for my family” as the reason for not taking care of our selves, when in fact we really need to sit back and assess what it actually means to look after your family. As a matter of fact I would prefer a circumstance where I have a parent or parents who have the energy to take me places and run around with me, the time to be there to help stimulate my growth through activity and health than a parent with all the money in the world who is miserable and too tired or time poor to even be present.
I understand the pressures of modern society and financial stress are always a factor but I truly believe that if we were to organise our priorities better and set better goals we would head in the right direction and as humans always do we would find a way to make it happen. It all starts with a goal, the right mindset and the will to want to be better and more efficient in what ever it is that we are doing. Remember time on this earth is too short to not be there in the right way for our family, we only get one shot so choose how you want to take that shot.
Part of my decision to become a coach I truly believe may have come from my own upbringing and wanting to change the way that I view what is important in life. Desire for Knowledge in health and performance lead me to the career path that I am and that evolved into wanting to do more to guide and help people in the right direction so that hopefully I can do the same for my family and my children.
If you take anything from what I am writing at least take away this: Think about how you view what is important, assess what it means to you to be a parent, and relate that to what it means to you to be healthy and let everything else you do revolve around satisfying those thoughts. Make a positive impact on those around you by being the best version of your self and that starts with understanding what it means to be healthy which I truly believe will help you be the best parent you can be for your children, NOT a selfish one.
Next time your in a place where you are down on motivation or you are struggling to make your health your priority, remember why it is that you want to be on this earth and as a parent your children are more than likely that main reason. Well do it for them, do it so that you can be the positive impact on their upbringing, do it so that you can be around longer for them and do it so that your time with them is quality time.
Remember a healthier person is a happier person when ever you need to remind yourself why your slugging it out in the gym, remember your doing it so you can be the best parent you can be.
Coach Yannick